my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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