His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
