She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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