Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
