She's JV to your varsity
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
