Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
