i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
