Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it's like heaven, but drunker
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
