there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
