New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
