Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
