your parents love me but you hate me
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
