in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
