Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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