dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
