dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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