you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
