were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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