nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
