What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
