Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
