You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
