He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We are all done wearing pants today
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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