as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
