i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVEâ€
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