Sry I called you an 8
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
As shirtless as possible
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
