But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
