I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
