I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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