kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
