talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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