dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
