i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
