i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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