Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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