I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
