a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
