I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
