Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
