I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
