We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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