I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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