I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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