how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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