he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
