I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
