Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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