I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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