problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
