hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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